True joy only comes to those who have devoted themselves to something bigger than their own happiness and personal interests. Nehemiah told the Israelites, 'Don't be sad, because the joy of the Lord will make you strong' (Nehemiah 8:10 NCV). True joy always involves three things: (1) A conscious decision to focus every day on God's goodness; (2) Reaching out to bless others every chance we get; (3) Understanding that joy produces strength, which explains why our joy is so high on the devil's hit list. If we lose our joy, we lose our strength!

There are basically three kinds of people: (1) The joy-guilty: who believe we are not supposed to be happy and have fun because life is to be handled seriously. These people feel guilty about feeling good; (2) The joy-angry: who've been hurt by life and whose anger simmers just beneath the surface. If we let them, they will turn our sunshine to rain because our joy bothers them; (3) The joy-factory: producing joy everywhere they go. When we are around them, they breathe life into us.

If we are joy-guilty or joy-angry, let's spend some time with a joy factory. We'll find their joy has nothing to do with how easy their life has been, or how much money they have. More likely they have had a revelation about God that we need to get too.

So what now? Put 'seeking out true joy' very high up on your personal priority list and get your strength back.

Jesus said, 'Can all your worries add a single moment to your life? Of course not' (Matthew 6:27 NLT). Worry changes nothing. When was the last time we solved a problem by worrying about it? Imagine somebody saying, 'I got behind on my bills so I decided to worry my way out of debt. And you know, it worked!' We can't add one day to our life or one bit of life to our day by worrying; all worry will do is bring us wrinkles and grey hair!

Let's consider these two Scriptures: 'Those who trust in the Lord are like Mount Zion, which cannot be shaken but endures forever' (Psalm 125:1 NIV); and 'You will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you' (Isaiah 26:3 NIV). We don't get up in the morning and decide 'Today I'm going to doubt God' - but when we worry that's what we do.

Paul writes, 'His peace will guard your hearts and minds' (Philippians 4:7 NLT). Paul uses a military word here - guard. The Philippians lived under Roman occupation and were used to seeing the centurions guarding their town. What security! Before an enemy could get to them they first had to get past the rock-hard Roman guards. And, God gives us the same guarantee! His peace is not wishy washy - it is solid. Our heart and mind are completely safe if we'll let his peace stand guard.

So what now? Why don't you ask God for his peace to guard you right now?

Some people grow through failure. Others never recover from it; they talk about the past all the time because they can't get beyond it. How can we start again? See our mistakes as stepping-stones rather than stumbling blocks!

'How do we do that?' By doing three things. (1) We must push! We have to push through emotions like: Regret - 'If only I hadn't failed;' Frustration - 'I thought my idea was great, but they didn't;' Self-pity - 'They hurt me so I will just sit here and lick my wounds;' Paralysis - 'I will never get beyond this.' When it comes to emotions, the only way out is pushing through! (2) We must bounce! Solomon says, 'Even if good people fall seven times, they will get back up' (Proverbs 24:16 CEV). If we fall, will we bounce back up and try again? (3) We must remember! There's only one way - God's way! Samson blew it by getting too close to the wrong woman (see Judges 16). Jonah blew it by trying to run from God's call (see Jonah 1:3). Peter blew it by denying his Lord (See Matthew 26:74). But God used all of them eventually - when they were willing to do it his way. So let's not blow it by thinking our way is better than God's.

So what now? With God there is release from the past through forgiveness; and the moment you accept that forgiveness, you only have a future. You're free to push, bounce and remember through your failure! You can start again!

Listen: 'He cuts off every branch that doesn't bear fruit and he prunes the branches that do bear fruit so they will produce even more' (John 15:2 NLT). There's a time for planting and a time for pruning. Maybe God is pruning us at the moment.

What kind of things does God take away? Things that have served their purpose. Things that refuse to change. Things that will give us trouble later on. Things that are standing in the way of greater fruitfulness. Things that are holding us back. Things he hasn't chosen for us.

A freshly pruned tree sometimes doesn't look too good? And when God starts to cut back certain things in our life in order to re-direct our energies, we may not look too good either. Sometimes this means: (a) having less nice stuff for a while; (b) letting go of things we depend on; (c) being unable to explain to our friends why we are going through the pruning process. God knows what needs to be cut back in our life, and what needs to be cut off. Let's trust him.

So what now? Even though you may not understand why God is pruning you, pray, 'Lord, if I really needed this person/role/opportunity you would let me keep it, so I open my hand to you. Send whatever you will and take away whatever you will. I'll praise you when things come and I'll praise you when they go, because your approval is my reward and your purpose is my reason to live.'

A news reporter once found himself unprepared for an interview with Mother Teresa. It went a bit like this: 'When you pray,' asked the reporter, 'what do you say to God?' 'I don't say anything,' she replied. 'I listen.' He tried another angle. 'Well, ok...when God speaks to you, then, what does he say?' 'He doesn't say anything. He listens.' He looked bewildered. For an instant, he didn't know what to say. 'And if you don't understand that,' Mother Teresa added, 'I can't explain it to you.'

Here's a secret for how to understand what Mother Teresa meant! It's in the place of silence that the Holy Spirit takes the truths in the Bible and helps us to understand what they mean - how they fit in with our lives, where we need to change and how we can change.

As God transforms our heart to beat in time with his, our decisions fit in more with the heart of his plan and we begin to reflect his character. He will calm our emotions and relieve our mind. We'll discover new direction, freedom from worry and a fresh sense of peace.

So what now? Go ahead, try it. Open the Bible in a peaceful place and sit in quietness before him. In time, the Holy Spirit will illuminate a passage and it will come to life in your mind. Before you know it, the situation that's driving you mad will be seem less intense. As you learn to 'be still' in God's presence, your greatest problems will start becoming more manageable.

There's no doubt about it; men and women are different. Men generally tend to be 'fixers': fix the PC, fix the leaky tap, etc. So it can be uncomfortable for men when their wife/girlfriend/mum/sister would rather talk about a situation than have it fixed.

Just having her husband/boyfriend/son/brother sit down and actually listen to how she feels often changes her entire outlook. Isn't that right, girls! Has the situation been resolved? Not necessarily. But something important has happened. The man who used to hang on every word at the start of the relationship has suddenly returned showing that feelings, thoughts and struggles really do matter to him. A man who learns to 'be quick to listen and slow to speak' (see James 1:19) sooner rather than later finds himself with a happy lady! Paul writes, 'Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her' (Ephesians 5:25 NIV).

It's like with prayer - often our prayers don't seem to change our circumstances, yet we feel much better when we have prayed. Why? Because we have shared it with one who is able, and cares enough to listen; so we walk away with a changed outlook.

So what now? Men, whether it's your wife, girlfriend, sister or mum, stop trying to fix their problems and learn to listen to them. Your attention and listening ear will build up huge trust in your relationships with the special women in your life.