There's no magic trick when it comes to influencing and impacting others. The Bible gives us the formula: (1) Try to listen carefully. The truth is that people don't care how much we know until they know how much we care. They tend to filter what they hear through their own life experiences, hang-ups and the particular problem that's on their mind at that moment. So if we want people to listen when we speak, let's listen carefully to them.

(2) Don't say too much. If we tend to talk too much, or too fast, here are three tips to slow down: (a) Stop. Just stop talking. Take a breath. Count to ten, then excuse ourselves and take a break. (b) Practise not interrupting. Let the other person finish what he or she is saying. (c) Let's ask ourselves why we're talking so much. Is it insecurity? Or anxiety? Or a need to control? Or a desire to impress? The reason many of us try to convince, impress or control is because we have a hard time trusting God to work things out. Let's just deliver the message and trust God to do the rest.

(3) Keep anger in check. If we implement the first two principles, we will tend to do fine on number three. It will just happen.

So what now? The good news is, you can learn to listen, be slow to speak and slow to anger. And as you practise them, you'll be amazed at the impact you have for God.

Charles Plumb was a pilot in Vietnam. After seventy-five combat missions, his plane was demolished by a surface-to-air missile. Plumb ejected, parachuted into enemy hands and spent the next six years in a Communist prison. He survived the ordeal and now lectures on what he learned from his experience. One day he and his wife were sitting in a restaurant. A man from another table walked over and said, 'You're Plumb! You flew jet fighters in Vietnam from the aircraft carrier Kitty Hawk. You were shot down!' Plumb said, 'How in the world did you know that?' The man replied, 'I packed your parachute.' Then the man grabbed his hand and said, 'I guess it worked!' Plumb assured him it had: 'If your chute hadn't worked, I wouldn't be here today.'

That night Plumb couldn't sleep. How many times had Plumb seen him without even asking, 'How are you?' - or anything else - because Plumb was a fighter pilot and the other man was only a sailor. He thought about the many hours that sailor had spent in the bowels of the ship, meticulously weaving the shrouds and folding the silks of each chute, holding in his hands the destiny of a stranger. As a result, Plumb routinely asks his audience: 'Who's packing your parachute?'

We all have someone who provides what we need to make it through the day. Paul said Phoebe 'has been helpful to many, and especially to me (Romans 16:2 NLT)'.

So what now? Who helps you? Today show them your appreciation.

Desperate situations sometimes call for desperate measures, and cutting the supply line to our earthly nature means getting radical. Jesus puts it like this: 'If your right eye causes you to sin, poke it out and throw it away. It is better to lose one part of your body, than for your whole body to end up in hell' (Matthew 5:29-30 CEV). Seems pretty drastic! But what Jesus is suggesting is moral and spiritual surgery - and that's radical!

It's impossible to argue, reason or negotiate with sin. Whatever our personal battle with temptation is - alcohol, drugs, device usage, wrong relationships, pride, food - its purpose is to destroy us. So we need to destroy it and overcome.

The apostle Paul was familiar with Old Testament Scripture. He knew that Samson fell while Joseph stood strong when faced with similar temptations. That's why he wrote to his spiritual son, Timothy, warning him about the sin that could disqualify him and keep him from winning the race: 'Run from temptations that capture young people' (2 Timothy 2:22 CEV).

So what now? Life is saturated with seductive influences, which means you can't always eliminate the source. So Paul told Timothy (and now you!) - when you can't remove the influence, remove yourself! And run, don't walk. You can be free, but your earthly mind will only give you a few seconds before it decides for you. So don't hesitate, don't try to make excuses, and don't procrastinate. Do what needs to be done - and do it quickly. You are made to live free.

The Bible says, 'He who covers his sins will not prosper. But whoever confesses and forsakes them will have mercy' (Proverbs 28:13 NKJV). Sin not dealt with ultimately stops us moving forward. Unresolved guilt can eat away at our confidence like acid. But there is an answer: 'Whoever confesses and forsakes [his sins] will have mercy'. Confess to God! He already knows what we've done - he's just waiting for us to deal with it.

'God is light, and in him there is no darkness at all' (1 John 1:5 NCV). When a light is switched on in a room, we may see dust and bugs scattering. And when God gets involved in our lives, he'll reveal things we may prefer not to see; things we've been hiding, even from ourselves. We can easily be deceived, especially about ourselves. We don't want to deal with our faults, and we don't enjoy having them brought to light. Privately we feel condemned about them, but at least we feel like they're hidden.

Anything hidden has power over us because we fear it could be discovered at any moment. Let's refuse to live that way.

So what now? The best and most liberating thing you can do is face what God wants to redeem and heal in you. David said, 'So I confessed my sins and told them all to you...Then you forgave me and took away my guilt' (Psalm 32:5 NKJV). Live free from guilt and shame; lay it all out for God today.

When we listen to or read God's word but don't apply it to our lives, we're basically cheating ourselves. That's because:

(1) We settle for knowledge rather than experience. The Bible says, 'If you don't do what you know is right, you have sinned' (James 4:17 CEV). What does that mean? When we know the truth but don't act on it, we're not simply making a mistake or exercising poor judgement - we're sinning! (2) We compare ourselves with others. Paul writes, 'Let everyone be sure that he is doing his very best, for then he will have the personal satisfaction of work well done and won't need to compare himself with someone else' (Galatians 6:4 TLB). When we compare ourselves to others in our Christian circles, we create a comfort zone of our own perceived inadequacy, which means we rob ourselves and others of the opportunity to do the unique job we are made to do in God's Kingdom.

(3) The word moves us briefly but doesn't change us permanently. There's nothing wrong with responding emotionally to spiritual truth. But if we do so without changing our behaviour, our spirituality boils down to nothing more than an uninspiring emotional experience. (4) We substitute communication for transformation. We talk the talk but don't walk the walk. We think if we speak eloquently and convincingly about Scripture, we're covered. But we're not!

So what now? Do yourself the biggest favour: 'Do not merely listen to the word, and so deceive yourselves. Do what it says' (James 1:22 NIV).

Stress is always trying to trip us up and reduce us to a heap of trembling, useless mush. What should we do? (1) Immerse our exhaustion. Let's try a bubble bath. Or a shower can help 'wash away' fatigue and revive our body and brain. The water's invigorating feeling on our skin helps to spread resilience to our spirit. We may think, 'That doesn't sound very spiritual.' Job's friend Zophar would disagree - he said to Job, who had more troubles than we'll ever see: 'You will forget your misery; it will be like water flowing away' (Job 11:16 NLT).

(2) Ask for help. Let's delegate chores and responsibilities if we can. When everyone does their portion, no one is left depleted. 'Two people are better off than one, for they can help each other succeed. If one person falls, the other can reach out and help. But someone who falls alone is in real trouble' (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NLT).

(3) Give up the perfectionism. Nobody's perfect except Jesus, and we're not him. Let's let some things go, then tomorrow a few more. Over time, those chores will stop nagging at us, and we'll feel the stress in the pit of our stomach disintegrate.

So what now? You'll never be totally stress free, but you can learn to cope with it and conquer it. Jesus said, '"I told you these things so that you can have peace in me. In this world you will have trouble, but be brave! I have defeated the world' (John 16:33 NCV).